BDSM is a series of erotic acts involving bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.
- Bondage & Discipline: Bondage and discipline
- Dominance, Submission: Domination and submission
- Sadism, Masochism: Sadism and masochism
In a BDSM relationship, one or both parties can participate in different roles such as dominant or submissive, based on consensus and understanding between the parties.
In this blog post, we will "dissect" the role of SUBMISSIVE, also known as the submissive person, who voluntarily gives up control to the DOMINANT (dominant).
Is my desire to become a Sub normal?
Don't worry, you're not alone! In fact, the sexual interest in being submissive is one of the most common sexual interests and fantasies. The famous film series 50 Shades of Gray has shown this clearly.
A-Z steps to becoming Submissive
1. Determine clearly whether you are truly SubmissiveSubmissive are people who have a desire to please and can even be aroused by actions and words that are "trampling" and dominating. However, being the Sub in a relationship is not about being humiliated. It's what you choose to do, and do it by consensus. You like giving up control and power to your partner because it reduces your anxiety.
Ask yourself honestly why you want to become a Sub. Is it because you really like the idea of giving up power to your Dom (your dominant)? Or is it because your partner wants to dominate you? Remember, Dom/Sub relationships must always be consensual. Never become a Sub if you feel that you are being forced to.
Signs that show you are quite interested/suitable for the Submissive role
- Like to be dominated in bed, let your partner take control of the lovemaking, all you like to do is obediently obey
- Likes actions of being tied down by a partner such as holding on tightly to both hands, tying hands with ties, ropes, etc.
- Likes to be subjected to light physical impacts such as spanking, strangling, hair pulling, and strong stabbing.
- Likes "submissive" positions like doggy
- Likes to be punished by partner
- Likes to be called by spoiled, mildly insulting nouns
2. Determine your level of submission
Each person has a different level and sexual maturity. While some want to bring Dom/Sub into MQH to spice up their sex life, others want to use Sub as the main part of their lives.
Sub has M blood but also on average likes others to impact the body to a light or heavy level in some form of training (train)
Sub also has part time and full time! That's right, While part-time Subs only play roles in bed, full-time Subs want to relinquish all control to their dominant in almost all areas of life. .
Here are some of the many roles that Subs often take on:
- Slave
- Property
- Secretary
- Pet (pet)
- Masochist
3. Draw boundaries
During your research, you may have discovered some activities that interest you and many that do not interest you. Talk to your Dom and figure out what you want him to do and absolutely not do. Just because you choose to be a Sub doesn't mean you have to do what you hate.
For example: You like to be subjected to light physical impacts such as being stabbed hard, pulling your hair, etc. But if you are extremely allergic to degrading names like condi, please tell this from the beginning with your Dom.
Another example: You only like to play the role of Sub when in bed, but outside of life, you want to be treated normally and equally by your partner.
4. Satisfy your Dom
In the dominated role, you need to perform well your "duties" to make the Dom satisfied. You need to follow and follow all instructions and orders from Dom (Of course you have agreed in advance)
You should know your Dom's favorite sexual position, does he like you to use your hands or your mouth? Dom likes to see how you dress, and Dom's idiosyncrasies and habits in everyday life.
5. Always put safety first
In recent years, the term "safe, sober, and consensual" has become a watchword of the BDSM community and BDSM practices. Whether you are a beginner learning BDSM or a seasoned player, safety must always be a top priority.
For example, if you use a whip during sex, there is always a risk of injury. Take the time to learn how to use sextoys and equipment safely and effectively, and come up with a special phrase before starting any BDSM activity. This word or phrase can be regulated and agreed upon between the two of you so that no matter what situation you are in, just saying this word will cause the Dom to stop or slow down.
Frequently asked questions about Submissive
- What if I don't feel very comfortable being a Sub?
That's okay :) Not everyone likes being a Sub, maybe you are more suitable for Dom or Switch or simply don't like either which is completely normal.
- Do I need to work as a Sub full-time?
No need if you don't want to. You can limit yourself to only playing the Sub role when going to bed, but if you let go of the role, you and your partner can still be a normal relationship.
- How to express my desire to be a Sub to my partner?
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Repeat something important 3 times. Communication is the fastest and most concise way to chat about this MQH. But if you are quite shy and want your partner to understand, here are some signs that your partner has the ability to be a Dom:
- There is a tendency to violence during sexual intercourse. He often spanks, strangles, stabs, bites, etc.
- Like using Dirty talk
- Likes to play games like tying up, blindfolding, etc.
Reference source:
https://kinkyevents.co.uk/how-to-be-submissive-in-a-relationship/
https://domsubliving.com/ultimate-guide-submissive/